behind the door was this blue guy singing a song, the name of the song was I'm blue. I was going to
say are you ok? But he looked so sad. So I sang the song with him because I know the song (BANG!)
“ha”.I looked behind.The door was closed. I tried to open it but it wouldn't open so I had another idea.
I asked the blue man where the bathroom was and he said “down the hall’’. So I went to the bathroom.
Lucky there was a window…..WAIT! The window was so tiny.So i grabbed a hammer and broke the
window (SMASH!) Then I went to the blue man and said sorry for breaking his window. He wasn't sad
he was happy he said ‘’thank you i was locked in here for so many years’’. Then we both went out the
window together. But the world was all blue. It was the same as the blue man. He said ‘’ oh man what
happened to this world it's all blue’’ ''i don't now?'' i said.
say are you ok? But he looked so sad. So I sang the song with him because I know the song (BANG!)
“ha”.I looked behind.The door was closed. I tried to open it but it wouldn't open so I had another idea.
I asked the blue man where the bathroom was and he said “down the hall’’. So I went to the bathroom.
Lucky there was a window…..WAIT! The window was so tiny.So i grabbed a hammer and broke the
window (SMASH!) Then I went to the blue man and said sorry for breaking his window. He wasn't sad
he was happy he said ‘’thank you i was locked in here for so many years’’. Then we both went out the
window together. But the world was all blue. It was the same as the blue man. He said ‘’ oh man what
happened to this world it's all blue’’ ''i don't now?'' i said.
here is the song i’m blue if you like to see it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DBA5Wx9T7U bye and tell me if you will like to see more and i will be doing part 2 goodbye
Kia ora April - awesome start to your story tino pai! I love the idea that the blue man matches the blue door and then a blue world! I can't wait to read what happens next ... Also check where all your speech marks go :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome story so far April. looking forward to the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteYou have used some really good short sentences and sound words to add drama to the story. Great details in the story too, I can really imagine what was behind the blue door.
Look out for the word 'I', as its your name in this story so needs a capital.
Keep blogging so we can share your learning
Hello April.All I could picture in my head when you mentioned a blue man,was a Smurf.I think one of those in your story would be cool.A smurf would fit through a small window.Maybe it's just as well you broke it so you could fit through it too.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to Chapter 2.
Have a great week.
Hi April, What a cool story and really liked how you linked it to the song, I had a listen, I haven't heard that song for a while I enjoyed listening to it. I am very keen to read the next installment. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteKia ora April,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story! I thought it was really nice how you tried to make him feel better and sing the song with him. I'm looking forward to the next part.
Tash
He ao kahurangi! Mīharo
ReplyDeleteKia ora April, thanks for sharing your story, I enjoyed reading it.I was pleased you were both able to get outside the blue house. Well done for using speech marks, it makes your writing more interesting. When using speech marks, remember to start a new line for each new speaker. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteMr Roberts